Groundhog Day

I flew back out to New Hampshire on Monday morning to start back at my job here in Concord. It feels pretty awful being away from Tina and the boys, and especially staying in our new house without them. I went to Target to pick up an air mattress to sleep on, and bought some cleaning supplies to sterlize and clean the bathrooms. I still don't really know anyone outside of work here, but that's OK because I don't really have any free time. The neighbors from across the street stopped by, and they seemed pretty nice. I noticed there are a lot of younger families on our street. I'm flying back to Columbus on Friday, and can't wait to be back with my family.

Let's start with Kevin tonight since Ethan always gets all the attention. Kevin had a great weekend. He's been uping his feeds on a regular basis and is now just a half an ounce below 5 lbs. The doctors told us this past weekend that he might be ready to go home today (Tuesday). They started his vaccines, he passed his car seat test, and he was taking all of his bottle and nursing feeds. Tina was really excited to hopefully bring him home today. Then this morning, for some unknown reason he "brady'd" and for about 5 seconds or so his heart rate droped to as low as 41 beats a minute. It was quick, and he recovered on his own, but it scared the nurses from discharging him today. They are now saying it will probably be at the end of the week. I must admit, part of me is glad that there's now a chance I'll be there when he comes home, but the other part is just way too frustrated with yet another set back.

On to Ethan. This past weekend was good for him. Both Tina and I got to "Kangaroo Care" with him, and he seemed to really enjoy the close contact. It's so nice for us to be able to hold the little guy. He was doing so well that yesterday they decided to take him off the ventilator again. He was responding very well, not even getting agitated when they had to suction out his esophagus. Then around 6pm this evening, shortly after his care, he bacame upset, his numbers dropped, and he failed CPAP again. This was his 5 try at it, and for the first time he didn't make it longer then the time before. It was extremely hard on Tina being by his side, while all of this was going on. It's just as hard on me, not being able to be there or do anything to help. The doctors thought it might be his stenosis causing problems getting blood to the lungs, but they tested and don't believe that was it. The theory is that he's just not big enough yet. The frustrating part is he's only 3 lb. 9 oz. or 1 oz. above his birth weight. He's been burning up too many calories trying to fight everything he's going though. They tentative plan is to give him a couple of weeks with a focus of getting his weight up significantly before they try again.

It sucks, because it feels like right now we are no further along with him then when he was born. Him being on the ventilator posses risks of infection or pnemonia. Utimately we need to get him to grow and get the surgeries down.

Tina is holding down the fort in Columbus and doing a wonderful job. My boys and I are so lucky to have her in our lives. Keep praying for us, somethings got to give here soon in terms of progress.

Love,

Ryan, Tina, Ethan and Kevin